Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I HATE that I feel this way!
I HATE that I think like this!
I HATE that I can't get past this shit!
I HATE who I am!
I HATE who I have become!
I HATE being FUCKING MISERABLE ALL THE TIME!
I have not taken laxatives in 5 days. I have eaten like I should and then some. I feel worse now then I did when I was fully engaged in behaviors. I have been dealing with a lot of physical pain in my joints(its in my journal) and I don't understand it.
I don't know anything other then I am sitting here with 100 laxatives and about half that many diuretics and I want to down them all. Sure I would probably just puke after shitting myself silly, but I don't care. I deserve to be miserable and suffer.
I am sorry to be feeling this way....
I HATE that I cause people here to worry...
I hate that I even bothered posting this...
I HATE that I think like this!
I HATE that I can't get past this shit!
I HATE who I am!
I HATE who I have become!
I HATE being FUCKING MISERABLE ALL THE TIME!
I have not taken laxatives in 5 days. I have eaten like I should and then some. I feel worse now then I did when I was fully engaged in behaviors. I have been dealing with a lot of physical pain in my joints(its in my journal) and I don't understand it.
I don't know anything other then I am sitting here with 100 laxatives and about half that many diuretics and I want to down them all. Sure I would probably just puke after shitting myself silly, but I don't care. I deserve to be miserable and suffer.
I am sorry to be feeling this way....
I HATE that I cause people here to worry...
I hate that I even bothered posting this...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
5 days..fucking awesome.
be proud.
throw the damn things away.
u feel sick because your system is trying to recover, ok?
but BITCH all u want...i do. lol :) xoxoxoxoxoxo
i LOVE who u are.
i LOVE that ur my friend.
i LOVE that ur my sister.
i LOVE having u around.
and i LOVE u very muchly.
you do NOT deserve to be miserable or to suffer. i know me saying that doesnt make much difference but its TRUE. ur amazing laynie - amazing amazing amazing. uve been thru so much and ur still here, ur still alive. thats SO important.
as for causing us worry - dont apologise. i would be more worried if u didnt talk abowt how u feel.
PLEASE dont take all the laxatives and diuretics ! please !
think of ur health, ur girls, guill, me.
dont do this.
i love u laynie - and im so so so sorry that im not there 2 help u through this.
but u CAN get through this, i promise.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I love that you are talking instead of taking
I love that you've done so well so far!
You don't deserve to be miserable and shitty, you deserve to be happy and have the support you need to get better. Some of that will come from here, some from docs, and some simply from you wanting to. You are stronger than your illness hun, you've shown that. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I don't know how overboard I will go, but it is going to be BAD. I will start slow but I know with where my mind is right now that i can not trust that it will stay that way.
I HATE THIS!!!! UGH!!! Why can't I be normal??
I HATE MY BRAIN!!!(or the sick irrational side of it at least)