.... am I scared of recovering from depression? I know it's an awful illness that warps the way my mind works, brings me down and kicks me in the head whenever it can. But it's become comfortable. It's become me, and as much as I want to work to recover I'm terrified of what I'll be if I do. I've settled into a routine.... work, go home, log onto DS or watch TV, and maybe go for a ride on my day off (if I can find the energy). What if recovering makes me a bad person? I can't remember who I was before I was depressed and I don't know if I want to find out who I'll be after......
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??