
Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

deleted_user
Why in the nine hells do I always make myself be so bloody optimistic when I feel this depression coming on? "Oh, maybe this time will be different," I tell myself. "Maybe this time I can claw my way up and not descend into this pit!" I always have to fight it all the way down, and it never does any damn good.
And my roommates. "How do you feel?" they ask me.
Like nothing matters. Like the sunshine isn't warm or bright anymore; like food tastes like sand; like smiles and words are completely meaningless. Like I can't think because of all the terror and pain. Like someone has cut me open from my throat to my belly, slashed up my insides with a razor, sloshed on some acid to boot, and left me to try to cope with life like that.
"Why?" they ask me. "Why do you feel this way? Is it something that happened a long time ago? Is it the pressures you're under right now?"
I don't know why. I just don't know. It just happens. I know when it's happening, I know the signs that it's happening - I can watch myself slide down the slope, I can tell them the symptoms. I can't tell them the cause, and they can't help me.
Why don't I just let myself go down? When I first feel it coming on, I just won't bother with the fight. It takes too much energy. I should just stop showering, stop getting up for work, stop trying.
I'm almost thirty years old and I still have no career, no car, no house, and no boyfriend/husband, because for every year and a half of sanity and strength I get, I spend another year or so in this hellhole.
What's the point of it all, anyway? I should just give up.
I want to die.
And my roommates. "How do you feel?" they ask me.
Like nothing matters. Like the sunshine isn't warm or bright anymore; like food tastes like sand; like smiles and words are completely meaningless. Like I can't think because of all the terror and pain. Like someone has cut me open from my throat to my belly, slashed up my insides with a razor, sloshed on some acid to boot, and left me to try to cope with life like that.
"Why?" they ask me. "Why do you feel this way? Is it something that happened a long time ago? Is it the pressures you're under right now?"
I don't know why. I just don't know. It just happens. I know when it's happening, I know the signs that it's happening - I can watch myself slide down the slope, I can tell them the symptoms. I can't tell them the cause, and they can't help me.
Why don't I just let myself go down? When I first feel it coming on, I just won't bother with the fight. It takes too much energy. I should just stop showering, stop getting up for work, stop trying.
I'm almost thirty years old and I still have no career, no car, no house, and no boyfriend/husband, because for every year and a half of sanity and strength I get, I spend another year or so in this hellhole.
What's the point of it all, anyway? I should just give up.
I want to die.

deleted_user
The point is...your friends, your family and ultimately that you CAN and WILL beat this :) Think of depression like a bully... are you gonna let it beat you? Are you gona let it laugh in your face because it has beaten you? I want to die at times too. I also think sometimes... whats the point. But then I think.. no...I AM worthwile, I AM somebody. This illness has a way of making people lose their confidence overnight and when that goes, its easy for the slightest thing to push you over the edge. Dont let it... there are people on this forum day and night that are in the same boat. Talking can help and usually does... youve done the best thing in coming here :) Keep talking... we'll listen and tell you about us too. You're not alone :)

deleted_user
I'm so sorry you are hurting so much right now. You are not alone in this, I totally understand. Your post describes my experiences to a tee. I've battled depression for 30+ years, and it does get overwhelming. I don't have magic answers, I sure wish I did. I can say, reaching out to others for support is a good thing, and there are many people here willing to listen, help, and offer support. That makes all the difference in the world. If I can somehow help, let me know. Kind regards.

deleted_user
Niki, I saw an earlier post you did. DOnt you see the doc today? Your roommates seem more like family to me. I find it to be so nice that they are here for you like this. We all think that we can claw our way out. That this time we can kick depressions butt rather than the other way around. I made that mistake many times myself and each time said the same thing...why do I do that? Tell the doc all of your worries and concerns. See what he or she suggests for you.

deleted_user
My roomies ARE my family. Lisa and Cher are my girls. They know me better than my real family does.

deleted_user
I'm going to work now. I just pray I can hold it together until the end of my shift at the soup kitchen.
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