Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
1. David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.
3. When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
4. When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
5. When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringeand instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoffcould use to kill you, including the room itself.
7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satanborrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.
8. David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.
9. Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.
10. When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David instead.
11. David Hasselhoff can divide by zero.
12. In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff,and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
13. David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to putup with lactose's sh1t.
14. David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.
15. David Hasselhoff is the reason why Wally is hiding.
16. David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
17. You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
18. David Hasselhoff once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
19. David Hasselhoff played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
20. If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
21. On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
22. When David Hasselhoff does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up,he's pushing the Earth down.
23. Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.
24. David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
25. David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
26. David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
27. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.
3. When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
4. When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
5. When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringeand instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoffcould use to kill you, including the room itself.
7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satanborrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.
8. David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.
9. Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.
10. When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David instead.
11. David Hasselhoff can divide by zero.
12. In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff,and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
13. David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to putup with lactose's sh1t.
14. David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.
15. David Hasselhoff is the reason why Wally is hiding.
16. David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
17. You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
18. David Hasselhoff once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
19. David Hasselhoff played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
20. If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
21. On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
22. When David Hasselhoff does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up,he's pushing the Earth down.
23. Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.
24. David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
25. David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
26. David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
27. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel
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Lovin that one 'crop circles are david's way of telling us corn needs to lie the fuck down' roflmao