Hey Jillian, happy birthday - a few minutes early! I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so blue, but glad to hear that you are working toward a degree. Does your college have a counselor on campus? Many colleges do and they offer free counseling services. The other thing you might want to look into is behavior modification and self-hypnosis training. Those both really helped me, especially when I was in college. It's really tough to be living at home in your late twenties, early thirties. I know, I've done it. But if you can just hang in there until you finish your degree, hopefully you'll be able to get a job that will allow you to get a place of your own. Best of luck and keep checking back. I'm sure others will post their support and advice soon.

27 and still in school is way better than 27 and quit school, i think you have some strength you dont know about. keep trudging you will break out of the rut eventually. i would recommend setting a short term goal of finding another place to live though, adult children living with their parents is a breeding ground for animosity(sp?) anyway, good luck and dont give up!

Thank you for responding, today is a little better of a day. Right now I am finishing a couple classes at Community College and they don't offer any services like that. Tomorrow I am going to go to the place I went to for counseling when I had an eating disorder. Its a sliding scale and I am hoping my feel will be lower. It is just so hard to deal with feeling like I'd rather be dead every day. Its just so hard to find a way to get out of this.

Jillian

Happy Birthday Jillian! Hope you found a way to really enjoy yourself today. ..Living at home is hard at any age when you have an abusive, horrible parent. The sooner you can get out of there the better I think you wil feel about yourself. I hope you can get back into that counceling again. I've been on so many different meds, they get it right, and it works for a while, then they have to change it again. Its hard and can be a daily struggle. You CAN do it. Hang in there, you will feel better. Your doing great by going to school and working, thats hard. give yourself a pat on the back for that one. My prayers and thought will be with you.

I am sorry that you have been feeling so bad. I have been in the place of wishing I was dead (felt that way for years and still feel that way at times) and it is horrible. For whatever reason some of us have to deal with the overwhelming weight of depression. We want the pain to end and we see death as our answer; unfortunately some of us give in to that temptation. I just want you to know that even though I don't know you I would be grieved if I found out you had ended your life. Please give this site and some counseling a chance to bring encouragement to your troubled soul. You can and will overcome and prevail against the dragon of darkness by reaching out for help and then giving it. There are people here who need the insights and encouragement only you can give. You are a precious part of the universe with unique gifts and an ability to empathize which you have gained through your pain. Meds don't work for me either when it comes to depression. I figure this is my cross to bear and I soldier on as best I can. We are all wounded healers here and we welcome you to our family of pain.

Happy Belated Birthday Jillian!!!! I am so sorry that you've been having a tough time lately...I remember going to similar situation in my early to mid 20's as well...My situation was not exactly the same as yours, but it was a difficult time as well. I am now 37 years old, and an entirely new set of problems are what I deal with today...I said all of that to say this...Keep moving, some times you may have to move with your eyes closed, sometimes, you may have to sleep the day away sometimes, but I will say this...sticking around is worth it...in between my depression then and my depression now...there have been so many good days. My advice to you is...stick it out, always tell yourself it's hard now, but tomorrow will be easier! Good luck, GOD Bless and drop an email any time you need to talk.
By-the-way, I've found this site to be an excellent source of uplifting advice and support...