Hello I am 18 years old, 19 next month and I feel like I have the worst life ever. I know it's not and I know it could be a lot worse. I've been depressed for the past year along with anxiety and ocd. It all started when I had to decide where to go to school. I went off to school and hated it. I was 3 hours away and I moved back home for 2nd semester. My sister and I share a car and I take it to classes everyday. My dad told me that she told him how she wishes I never came home and how she wants me to leave. My dad always makes comments about how I should move out. I plan to transfer in the fall and live in a dorm again the way I liked living, alone. I went to a therapist January-August until I left and have been taking Citalophram ever since then. It usually works but I haven't been taking it the past week. I forget to take it and it falls off my nightstand. I hate where I go to school currently and I'm afraid I will hate it wherever I go next year as well. I wish I could tell my parents everything I feel and how much I want to give up all the time but I know they would make me go to a mental institution. I get so stressed from little things in life, like taking notes in classes and what pen or pencil to use. I am in public speaking and cannot express how absolutely SCARED I am to speak. I've heard everything from everyone and nothing makes me feel better. I also have a job that I do not mind but the other day I got 'yelled at' for not greeting ONE customer. It makes me feel like a bad person. I feel so alone. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and he knows I take medicine and went to a therapist but I don't think he understands how bad my depression is. He is the ONLY thing that makes me feel better and forget about how I'm feeling and I am really scared to lose him. So I guess I'm asking what do I do now that I have tried everything and still hate life?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...