i am never happy. i try so hard to be normal for everyone but i just can't do it. smiling takes so much energy, it isn't even worth it anymore. my family doesn't get me, my "friends" just want me to shut up and deal with it without bothering them, and my mom wants to get me locked up in a psych ward. i have started cutting to make myself feel better, but it only helps a little. i haven't been doing it long, but i am already hooked. i can't stop. i have only been able to go up to a week without doing it then i start again. my mom hasn't found out yet, but if she does then i am so screwed. she was a cutter and is terrified of me going down "the same path" as she puts it. i just want to curl up and die. life isn't worth it anymore. someone please help me before i lose myself completely. i am so scared of dying, but i am more scared to live. someone, anyone, help me.
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