I feel like I'm failing at everything lately. I don't know how to help anyone like I used to, but then again maybe I never helped in the first place. I'm just falling down to where I didn't want to go again. I don't sleep, I eat weirdly, I'm mean, I'm pissed, I'm pulling away from certain friends. I really don't know what to do anymore. I say that all that time, I know, but right now.. I'm deadly serious. I'm at a standstill and I'm so confused at what to do. I feel like trashing my entire house, I felt like drowning my cat at one point and I'm not proud of that - I feel like an utter asshole for even thinking it. I just want someone to understand and be able to get through to me and tell me what I need. I never accept what anyone tells me and it's stupid because I know they're right. I want someone who will say what needs to be said and I won't just throw it out the window. Fuck everything... I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way all the time and I just want it to go away. Ugh, shit, fuck, bitch, whore, slut, ass, incompetent blubbering pathetic excuse of a human being. That's what goes through my head everyday when I look in the mirror. I need alot of help and I can't get/find any. :(
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