i told my friend about my depression and sucidal thoughts and cutting and stuff, and she told the counsler that she HAD 2 c me, that it was a matter of life and death... so she took me out of the rest of my afternoon classes, and as soon as i got in there i broke down crying, i told her just about everything and she told me that i do seem 2 have the symptoms of depression... and she said that she HAD 2 call my mom and have her CUM 2 SCHOOL!!!!!! so she could tell her, and then i started having a little panick attack (but thankfully she didnt notice) and i couldnt stop shivering and i started FREAKING OUT and crying and i was all like but y does it have 2 b today, and shes all like hunny i have 2 its policy u r in danger, and then i was like crying even MORE and i was like but todays my birthday..... and then she seemed 2 get sad 2 and she made me feel a little better and she told my mom and gert this my mom actually WANT ANGRY!!!!!! and she stated crying so she called the doctrs and we went there 1st thing and so i went in and she diagnosed me with clinacal depression (happy birthday 2 me) and now i am takign anti depressant pills and i have 2 go there weekly for a month or so and she asked me if i had any traumas besides my brother joining the army like when i was younger and i said, well when i was born my parents got divorced..... and so my mom started crying again and said that she didnt know that it would affect me, her crying on the phone made me think that he was a bad person and (long story short i didnt get 2 c my dad until i was 7!!!!) but i found out that he didnt divorce my mother becasue she drove him crazy but she divorced him because he was cherating on her and he didnt want ANYHITNG 2 do with me and the only reason that he was at the hospitol was b-cuz my mom had an emergency c section and he was forced 2 go and the ONLY reason he let me into his life was because he felt guilty!!!!!!! so i dont hate my mom any more i have a hole new respect 4 her but i have a hole new DISRESPECT 4 my father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he had a daughter with the woman he cheated on my mother with and he abandoned her 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! it was the WORST 14th b-day in the HISTORY OF EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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