feel really confused right now.Okay so im a lesbian....but idk i went to this party type thingy and there was this guy and i started to like him and idk i like him alot..this isnt supposed to happen.I mean I am scared to be with a guy cuz every guy i have been with i have either gotten in trouble for or has gotten me into really bad habbits.and secondly, everytime i am with a guy it reminds me of what happened when i was little...plus idk i like girls alot and i have a gf...but idk it was something about this kid..idk maybe i am just a slut and want someone to sleep with..idk im so confused right now..I dont like guys..i mean i just dont..but i like him...but i love my gf....i got so much shit running through my mind right now..i want a fucking cig and i have a headache.my mind is just going buck wild..its crazy like i dont like guys...so why does this guy make me wanna just walk up to him and kiss him?...grrries my feelings/mind are stupid.I just feel like a whore cuz like everyone i see i flirt with cuz i just really want someone to love me..cuz like my gf loves me but i havent talked to her in a week and i dont see her..i need constant reassurance and i dont get that from her..im selfish i know but i need that.and then there is that guy justin that i have kinda loved since i was 8..yea my god sister likes him but she has a kid and is dating his brother..and she kissed him and saw his dick and she knows i liked him and still does it, and then tells me about it..and i had such an awesome night and now i am just crashing bad...i feel like crying,idk y i hate my emotions..i hate me..grr..my god sister made me so mad tonight too..she saw this guy that she cheated on my god bro with and she was ALL over him..she has a man and a gf and she is still on him..and its even worse cuz with my god bro and her have a kid..and if my god bro finds out the kid will be without a mom cuz she will be kicked outta its life.that kid doesnt have to be hurt like that.and then she drank some of his beer and still drove..grr...i wanna cut but i promised i wont..
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