so now that im home ive reached out to everyone i thought were friends but they all have much better things to do than hang out with me. i cant think of the last person who has ever been there for me when ive felt lost, alone, suicidal or conflicted. i hate being alone, but ive had to deal with it for so long. i thought it would get easier but its just gotten worse--not having anyone to talk to or confide in is really getting to me. i dont know what to do anymore.
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