i havent posted any discussions yet bcos its my first day so ive been looking round to see if this website is for me, I decided to put my first discussion here.

In my family im the youngest of 4 siblings. at school i was bullied from my first year of school until i fought them back and got branded a bully to others for standing up for myself because others wouldnt. since a young age ive been EXPECTED(my least liked word along with all its conjugations) for high grades. Ive been treat like dirt for a long time and become shielded against it at the price of being able to open up to people properly even though noone has ever tried to get to know me anyway. with my parents on their 3rd(and final) break up in an ongoing arguement of WHO GETS THE HOUSE,(my father denying any relation to me openly and my eldest brother dissowning me) im rarely even spoken of or to. I spend most of my time in my room where i am now because since i moved to live with my mom i now live over 10 miles(16km) from my school, my friends and my social life. Theres no point in me moveing schools since i live near to the college i will probably go to and im in my last year of secondary school. Everything in my life is slowly eating at me, my grades are beggining to drop and when i am asked why, i cant say "Because im surrounded by people yet im totally alone" because they wont understand. I dare not confide in any of my friends because i do not want to lose them. im left with nowhere to turn, the scars on my hands are a constant reminder of this. Will this ever end??