my life is being controlled by my depression... i dont tell my friends because they dont understand or care and i cant stand the heart break of having another person i have high hopes 4 end up being a dissapointment......... it's like im afraid 2 let ppl b my friend, like my heart is closed... almost nothing makes me happy any more but wen i am happy theres always umthing that reminds me of my messed up exuse 4 a life........ and the only other times im happy is when i vut myself, but thats not healthy i know, but so far they haven't been very deep so it's not dangerous or anything but they've been causing problems at school... its like no matter wat i do im never happy everything that used 2 make me happy makes me sad because i think of how hppy i was and how much i've changed and im not the same person i was... its like with everyday i feel another year older in my heart, i used 2 b that silly dorky funny and altogether always fun 2 b around girl and now im the never smiles friend or the depressed friend or in my tech ed class emo girl..... i dont want 2 let this take over my life..... but i don't know how 2 do that? please help me.
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