there are 8 weeks and 5 days left in the 4th quarter or my junior year. I go to a private college prep. school. I decided a few years ago that they were trying to kill us. It is 9 pm and I have worked my way through a good half of my homework. I am so tired it hurts to sit up. The funny thing is, I haven't done anything all that physically strenuous. But all day, I put on a smile and laughed and fooled all the people there into believing that I am a happy teenager. No one would guess that every night I hope the house catches fire and I die of smoke inhalation or that everytime I get on a horse I hope that my horse will somehow kick me in the head and i will never have to wake up again. But you see, I am pretty sure it is the school that is causing the depression. Not the academics. I love learning. I want to be a doctor, which means like a million more years of school. Its the loneliness that depresses me. Its not having anyone to talk to. I don't have any close friends because I am so focused on school and maintaining the smile that I can't get close to anyone. So how do I get through the next eight and a half weeks. As soon as I get out, I am traveling to the ends of the earth and everything really will be ok. But how do I make it untill then?
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