I feel like everyday I have to fight to put a smile on my face. I have to fight away the tears when someone saysthe slightest "bad" thing to me. I have to fight myself to put the razor down. I have to fight to get out of bed in the morning and fight to stay awake throughout the day. Its like a never ending war with myself and I am painfully losing. I feel like I have no one to really rely on. My best friend isn't exactly what most people would consider their best friend. She makes me feel like shit and I put up with it. I really don't hae a lot of other friends. No boyfriend. It's just me, myself, and I, and it gets lonely quite often. I am hopeful for the future to get better, but is it really worth it? I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe my hope is just a sort of fantasy. In that case, I don't really want to continue to fight. I think I might just give up.
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