well, i require great concentration in order to work. i usually have to separate myself from other ppl for long periods of time. it seems that no matter how many breaks i attempt to take to change things up and get myself feeling part of the human world again, im still lonely when i have to go back and work. i usually procrastinate even when ive separated myself because i experience anxiety when alone. i try to calm myself down by taking it slow and listening to music, goofing around on the internet- junk like that. so, i basically just end up prolonging the amount of time i have to spend couped up in my room trying to get my schoolwork completed. whenever i have to write a paper, i just hate the feeling of being disconnected from other people, so ill leave my instant messanger on and will do junk like blog, just cuz the concept of speaking thoughts to a theoretical person -who isnt really reading- helps me feel less isolated. because im multitasking, i take forever to get things done--which is why im on my computer at 6 in the morning (and didnt just wake up). so, i guess my case isnt quite the same sort of loneliness that most ppl experience. its unreasonable, and obsessive in nature. no matter how many people in my life i have, i will be desperately anxious upon separation. i dont know what to call this sort of situation, and try to play it down to other ppl. i dont know how to improve this situation. i feel embarrassed when i spend so much time working, because it makes me seem more obsessive about schoolwork if anything. i dont know how to tell ppl what the actual problem is without creeping them out and making them think that i might turn out to be a needy friend. i need to learn to live independently because im getting older. im in college now, but when ive moved on from that, ill NEED to perform like more of an adult in the world. what can i do?
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