When it came down to it my depression turned me into a monster. dealing with my mothers cancer, and a father in denial, never felt like such a nuclear bomb of hell exploding all over me,well egleast not untill i started ruining things for me and my "FRIENDS". We're teenagers not full grown afults how are we supposed to kno when enough is enough! every day is like getting drunk for the first time. its all a blurr and a black out. I lied to mny best friends just so they would think i was fine, i lied to get out of drama, and i lied to keep something very important away from my best friend. Sometimes i wonder if i was ever meant to be here, but then i wonder what would happen to my friends if i just left. My best friend od'd and then transferred schools, and i feel so alone. How am i supposed to stop my depression, when i can't even stop myself?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??