Last night I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone and he said something that bothered me. About a year ago I got really depressed and I turned to him, but I am regretting that now. He was literally the only one that would listen to me without judging me, but I guess I was wrong. Anyways, last night when we were talking I told him I wanted to be honest about something. I told him when I get really drepressed and am having one of those days I sit and think about what would I really lose if I took my life. I am not saying I want to kill myself I just think about what I would lose and I realized not alot. I have no friends, no boyfriend, no kids, no job, I am distant with my family and I am really lonely. When I got done explaining that to him he told me that I was psycho. I laughed because I thought he was joking, but he didnt laugh. I said "are you serious"? and he said "Yes I am being 100% serious". I was taken back because I never considered myself psycho. I tried to explain to him that its just what I think about and I cant help it. Him saying that didnt help at all. I was wondering if anyone has ever been judged because of something like this and if so How did you handle it? If he really thinks I am crazy in a bad way then I no longer feel comfortable talking to him about my depression and he was the only one I could talk to. I just dont know how to take what he said.
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