I want to crawl in my bed, and never get out. I spent years pretending to be okay and now I can't even try to hide it, all I can do is cry. It doesn't help me any. I've hurt myself because of the crying doing nothing to help. I can't bring myself to kill myself...which should be a good thing i guess, but I want nothing more than to no longer exist. My mom wants me on anti-depressants/to put me in a hospital. If she knew how suicidal I was...I wouldn't be at home...I'd be in a hospital right now, reufsing to cooperate. Idk what to do anymore. Therapists have only made it worse, I could go in okay and leave ready to kill myself. Help? Idk where else to turn. I needed to write this, and maybe get help from people who know what I'm going through...so, any advice?
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