ok i dont know how much longer i can take this, life just keeps hitting me hard, the "anniversary" of my rape is coming up and making me go ballistic over everything, my ex hates me for dumping him and is being a huge jackass lied to me about his death (pretended to be his friend and said he killed himslef cuz i broke his heart) i was so scared i even called his mom and she told me it was a joke he made me worry for nothing i cared about him still he was just to stupid to relize that i wanted to stay his friend but he just blew up at me and calls me a slut for being raped, and "cheating on him" (which i didnt) and it really making me sad and mad. i recently started going back to my other ex (the one i had before the jackass) and hes not the way i remmber him from when we dated all he wants is sexy pictures of me and all he talks bout is him being horny for me and he wont take no for an answer on the pictures its rlly starting to scare me i miss him but i miss the old him my best friend absolutely depises him since he cheated on me. i do talk to my friends about this but i feel horrible cuz most of them are going through worse things and i hate being a burden on them. this is just piling up on me and i told a guy to go die and his friend said he killed himself cuz of it and im scared he actually did and that just made things worse i faked sick yesterday cuz i didnt think i could handle school. i slipped up and cut twice in the past two weeks and someone told my school counselor and now i have to tell my rents i also tried to kill myeslf the other night and i probs will continue to keep trying untill ppl stop trying to stop me and i follow through i cuz i can not deal with this anymore i just cant and now my best friend is mad at me for agreeing with my other best friend in a fight they had iHATE this
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