I'm stressed out with myself. Having to force a fake smile on my face around others when all I really want to do go somewhere alone and cry. Maybe thats why I'm not feeling well. I'm in a really tight spot. I'm around all the others so I have to smile, even if they know or feel that there is something wrong, I can't tell them beleive it. I have to keep smiling cause if I don't, they'll see me cry and I don't want them to see me cry. Someone could yell at me about something and I still have to keep that smile up as if nothing is happening. I'm getting sicker on the inside, my throught hurts and so does my body, but I don't have a fever nor am I showing my pains to others. I'm so tired. Oh well. It's just another one of my punishments.
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