I'm alone all the time. Even when there's people around me, i'm alone, and wishing i wasn't. I used to take action trying not to be alone, but every time, i was rejected like a freak who wasn't important enough to be in a conversation. I've given up. I can't take it anymore. How am i supposed to get better, if no one will let me in to get help?This is what deppresses me most, my social life. I pick myself the most over how low self esteem i have in this world. I hate myself. i hate them, who said they were my friends, then found someone better and dumped me. I hate those people who would look at me when i smiled. Now all my smiles are fake. I have to live like i'm happy, and i'm dying inside. I want to die. I can't put on the mask anymore and act like i don't care that i'm alone. i do care, but what can i do? so i smile. i don't mean it in the least bit, but i do, and it hurts. Then when i get home, i go right to my room and i cry. I'm alone again.
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