...if this will even make sense, but have anyone ever felt suicidal in the sense that they don't want to die, they just want to stop existing? They want to stop feeling? It's almost like, I still want to be here....but not. Just nonexistent. That's the only way I know how to explain it really... And have you ever had urges to just see your own blood, running out of you? It's not necessarily the pain, just the blood and the sting of your skin being open and your life source running out of you? I feel like a fricking freak thinking about all this...but it seems to be what funnels through my brain at all points of time. It's every other thought in my mind.
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