when i was a little kid i used to get really mad about nothing really fast. it ends up that as a kid i didn't have control over my split personalities. now i do, and it makes me so tired doing it. but i'm afraid to let them out for what they might do. to stop the one that was always mad as a kid i would bite myself. once, during class of the third grade, i was having a horrible day. nothing was going right. i asked to go to the bathroom and i bit myself. for the next fifteen minutes i had to clean up the blood off of my arm. luckily i could hide the marks with my long sleeves. now i just pick at my nails, pop my knuckles and chew on my fingers. but lately, i've been having these thoughts. instead of the usual cutting people think about, i keep thinking "bite yourself, taste the blood." and i've been looking at people and thinking things not like me. i admit, i even got the thought of rape. it's not me, and this new personality, it's not human, i swear it's not. it dominates the rest and the only way to stop it is to tense up and ride it through. anywhere from minutes to an hour. if this keeps up, i'll go crazy. i shake at times uncontrollably from it. i don't know who i am anymore, or what's happening. i won't do anything crazy, i have too much control over it, but that's slowly disappearing. i'm even getting ready to bite myself and then i stop just before. it has a lust for blood. what do i do? don't say the hospital, i'm not going there. to many people are killed there, the nurses overdose or do something wrong and kill you. my chances are actually worse there. i can't tell my family, oh no. not even my friends are trustable.
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