I'm going to tell you straight out. My mom is determined to make my life a living hell. She's alwasy treating me badly and saying bad things to me. We could be in a good mood and we'll be talking and having fun, but then she ends up ruening it by saying something that's, to me, unepropriot. Like for example yesturday. when we began to leave to go to the school, she started complaining about me wearing shorts when I have bruseess, but for her she thinks their moskito bites, at the very last min. when she could have told me to change befor we left. When we left the school she was in a good mood again. We went to the gas station together. She bought her Bonita calling card and I bought a Sobe. Happy. But then right when we were about to leave, she started to say bad things about our roomates. That A. doesn't care about her son who does drugs when he's back in dallas and that she's making him go back to that bad school and that pissed me off. I told her she didn't know anything that she needed to shut up. But then she gets mad at me and starts telling me all the bad things I've done like how I let people hit me and that A. and C. are talking about me behind my back cause that's how she found out but yet I'm defending them and shit. This is one of the reasons why I hate females! Always complaining and talking about nonimportant things and they never shut up! But if I don't know you then I have nothing bad to say to you. It's just an expression. But anyways, if they are talking behind my back then let them, that just shows that I have no friends in the place I'm in. I hang around a big group, but that's all it will ever be, hanging around. I can't trust nobody. So I'll just continue to hid me feelings from them and continue to lie to them whenever they catch me sad or crying. Continue to look happy and have fun with them when really I'm sad, lonely and just want someone to love me for me. Sorry this is long, but damn, I just have to let it out. Others told me once that my mother loves me and that she doesn't want anything to happen to me. But that's not true! If she really loved me, then why did she try to kill me those many nights whenever we're alone?! We live in an apartment. She wanted to kill over something stupid like the dishes. I cused her back telling her all the things I hated about her and she attacked me. I was told once not to make noices cause then the people around will here. But when I was screaming at her and forcing her off me, who came to help me?! Who came knoking on the door to see if everything was okay?! Or at least called the cops and have them check if everything was okay?! NOBODY!!! I don't give a damn about being lound. And thank god A. and C. was home cause if they weren't then she would have tried to kill me last night! She's there thretining me telling me what I can and cannot do like I really give a shit! I can't wait till I'm able to get out and away from her! I'd run away, but then she'll call the cops and I'll get in trouble for it and I can't go to my boyfriends place or anyother person's place cause then she'll call the cops on him and get him in trouble. I don't know what to do! And I'm not calling child service cause that piece of worthless shit doesn't work at all! Damn it!
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