God! im so sick of being alone. im constantly home and im sick of it. its not even healthy for a 16 year old to be home by herself all the time. im constantly either aound a bunch of little kids or my aunt and uncle. i need to socialize and be around people my own age. tonights halloween and while everyones out having fun im stuck at home once again. instead of guiding me my aunt is trying to completely run my life for me. shes practically trying to save my virginity. i wish she would just leave me alone for a split second and let me make some choices on my own. she thinks shes so smart but its only gonna make things worse when i turn 18 and she cant tell me what to do anymore. i wish she would just see im not a stupid kid and just relax. just cause her daughters ended up being screwups doesnt mean she needs to lock me up like a prisoner. then she wonders why when she actually does let em do something (which must include some type of school activity or chaperoned sleepover, like im 5 or something) i come home a little tipsy. ha! yeah thats right. but can you blame me? so im interested. whatever. knowone died so she needs to chill. and when we have those conversations she never lets me get a word in. not without yelling in my face ( cause for some reason she seems to think im scared of her ) when i actually just dont see the point in making things worse for nothing. she used to take pictures of my cousin when she was 17 getting ready for the club with her friends ( which of course she had a fake id for ) and im not even aloud to go over my friends house without their parents being there. im so sick of her i cant even tell you. i actually go in my room and cry because im lonely and feel left out of my chance to have a life. i know i have a lot of years ahead of me but i only get to be a teenager and go to highschool once. it sucks to ahve to hear my friends talking in school about what everyones doing for the weekend and i wont be doing anything. i feel like such an outcast. i wish she could see that its not only the naive teenage part of me thats upset but the emotional part of me thats actually hurting cause i feel so alone. and most of all, she doesnt even care. as long as she doesnt have to worry about me getting pregnant and having kids that shell have to deal with or anyting like that then shes fine. but what about me?
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