All ive been thinking about is suicide. Everytime I close my eyes, everytime i lisen to music, everytime I try to get out of my bed. All ive been doing for days is laying in bed crying. My moms trying to help, but at this point it feels like no one could. I'm scared. I know im capable to do it, thats what scares me the most. I dont want to tell my mom, because months ago she found a note, that I was going to leave, if my attempt worked, which it didnt. My whole family just watched me, every move I made. They locked the medicine cabnet, the knives. Everything like that. They just started trusting me again, and Im going over and over these thoughts. I'm scared if i tell someone they will put me into a hospital. Which I feel will make everything worse! does anyone have any advice on what I should do?!?!? :((((( im scared. I really truely am. That my emotions and thoughts will take over my actions and my body.
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