i dont know what to do anymore. the only one i am able to talk to anymore is my best friend. i swear if she wasnt there for me i dont know what i would do. shes going through basically the same thing as me right now so its easy for me to talk to her, but im so scared im going to lose her. and my mom doesnt help any because.. well, i used to cut for a while and she made me get help, then i thought i was better, then a month later im not even close and so i cut again, only once, and she saw and got hugely pissed because she thought i was done with that mistake. sometimes i just want to crawl into a hole and die. but i just cant leave my best friend. i think shes the only one holding me back right now. im very glad though. the worst part though is when my mom tells me to explain whats wrong i cant! i dont know what to say. theres a million things going through my head and i still dont know how to get it into words..
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