Its been a little over a month since my boyfriend of 2 and a half years has broken up with me. He will occasionally text me to see how I am but that just makes me feel so sad to. Because its almost when he ever does text me that we are complete strangers, like we dont even know eachother. It hurts me so bad because i really think that its over, and i dont know how to accept that fact. He keeps telling me that he loves me and cares about me, but he just doesnt want to be with me. To me thats like having my dog die but the doctor telling me i can still keep it. I can't eat because anytime i do i feel like im gonna throw up. Im tired all the time but i cant sleep either. Cause whenever i sleep, my mind just fluds of memories about us. Some people here on DS told me to embrace the memories but its really not that easy. How can you embrace something that you dont have anymore...but want so bad that it aches inside. I feel like i am in this big whole and there is no way of getting out. I tried killing myself a couple of times but i cant even succeed in that. Apparently i am a faliure as a daughter, as a girlfriend, and at taking my life. I really thinking about packing up all mystuff one night and just running away. Getting away from here ive really hit rock bottom and dont know what to do.
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