I hate it when I open up to people and then they just walk away or get distant. its so stupid because when I meet them I say I am afraid of abandoment, and they say they will never give up, Ill never leave, if you need me im always her yet I can only say two of my "so called friends" have been there for me whenever possiable, they know who they are, and if you sitting there feeling bad or sorry then its not you, and you should pay more attention to a friend in need because anyone who know me even a little know's I would do anything for a friend in need, I hate it how people just tell me they love me and the next second they act like they hardly have time for me, when just days a month, or even a few they were there anytime, I get calls from people in the middle of the night when i am sleeping and I am there for them even though, they dont return the favor, I know sometime im not the easiest person to talk to but dont you think I deserve to vent and be angery too... or maybe not, I have alot of problems I will admit that, I dont try and hide it, yes im strong but even strong people fall sometimes, it would be nice to know that some other then my sister would catch me. I feel like I care for some many people who hardly know me because they dont take the time and once they do they tire of my problems and find something better to do someone less fucked up to talk to well im tired of it, if your one of the people that call just to say how are you. or just to say you love me this is not to you and I thank you for trying it means so much. if your one who is still sitting there thinking you feel bad then it is! and you should know I will always care and always want to help and get your messages and calls but if your lifes to busy or if you think your somehow better then me dont fucking bother, I dont want to depend on you and you trip me and make me fall alone again.
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