i've been depressed/anxious since i was eight. anxiety was worst in the beginning and i started excessively exsercising when i was in sixth grade, seventh grade i basically stopped eating but i eventually stopped both by the summer between ninth and eighth. i would constantly have panic attacks because i was so scared of gaining weight but i refused to stop eating and excersise too much. my depression became worse in eighth grade after i went through a small phase of drinking thats when i stopped going to school and literally didn't go outside for six months. then i started to binge eat and then bring it back up, but my parents assumed it was some kind of acid reflux thing and i played along with it bc i didn't want to stop. ninth grade i went to a private school and could hide my depression/anxiety really well and i've always had lots of friends bc of that, and i really liked how the school was. my grades were horrible and i was on academic probation and i couldn't study or concentrate in class because i felt so shitty. summer between ninth and tenth grade i found out that i had hoshimotto's disease and got the medication for it and really got my physical health in shape, but didn't feel any better inside. went to the same private school for half of this year but the depression was horrible i'd have to leave class half the time and run to the bathroom bc i couldn't breathe or i had to just cry. i'd suck it up during the day and try to be what people thought i was outgoing and happy but i'd go home and cry for hours. so half way through the year i got out of the school and went to another private school which was more flexible academically but i only lasted there for a week because all the kids there were shooting up and shit and i didn't want to get involved with all that shit. now i'm doing online classes with a program called keystone and i stay home all day doing the classes. it's good grade wise and my classes are fine but i have never felt this depressed in my entire life. i do everything you're supposed to do eat healthy, excersise, keep in touch with friends/hang out with friends, and try to stay positive but nothing is changing. i've changed up my meds alot and finally found something that works better than before but i still feel horrible. i can't live the rest of my life like this, i've always been the one to work things out myself and never go to others but i'm desperate no therapists work, and i love my family but there pretty self absorbed along with most of my friends. please help or atleast tell me if you have something like this going on or had something like this happen.
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