That's my babies name. I miss Hayden so much, I still get all beat up about the fact that Hayden is gone and not coming back to me. I feel like a blanket of numbness washes over me at times. It's a weird feeling but nice, I just want to break down and cry and just lay there in the grass and stare at the sky and just cry. I get so angry that my baby was taken from me it is not fair. How am I supposed to deal with all this? How am I supposed to be able to just be happy, or whatever feeling other then sadness and anger and worthlessness. I'm so frustrated that my real dad can just push me aside and treat me like dirt. He should be happy that I am here he was blessed to be able to have a child and I'm here all alone without my baby, and I know I would have always been there for Hayden. Then I see my real dad and how easily he takes things for granted. I just don't know,
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