I know I probably sound crazy, but I don't care. I always find myself thinking about suicide when I feel like I'm losing control or when people are leaving or drifting away from me and I feel that they don't care anymore. I mostly think about what those people would do if I died, or if I tried to kill myself and ended up in the hospital because I failed, I wonder who would show up and actually care about me and see what I'm going through. I think and I think and I wish and pray that someone would hear my silent screams. I hate how often I think about this. It's all the time. I also sometimes wish I would get into a car crash when I'm driving. I'm such a terrible person for wishing things like that, but does anyone else feel like this ever??
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