my mom passed away 4 years ago on 9.21.03. and its been a long weekend trying to cope with it. so my dad started going out with this lady two years i think after my mom passed away. which hit me hard. he said i would be the first to know if he was dating someone. and =[ i found out from my older sister months after him and this lady had started going out. it struck me right in the heart and we havent been as close since. i love my dad and he is my best friend but it hurts to know that would happen. and the fact that it was only 2 years after my mom had passed made it even more hard. yeah i want him to be happy but why cant it was or why cant he just not do it. okay so i have been "happy" with this or atleast people think for awhile now. cause im not good at expressing my feelings. but inside im soooo upset and semi depressed. i kind of just wanna go off to college to get away from this life. but i think with me being here i am keeping my family from really needing her. yeah she drives us places sometimes. but when im gone i feel like she will be at my house more often and doing even more stuff with my dad. its just ughhhh. undescribable. well then last night i was over my dads gfs house and i was looking on her dresser while watching t.v with her son. and there i see a valentines day card from my dad to her with dried up flower petals right next to it. and it struck my heart. it makes me seriously feel throw up sick inside. and i need someone to help me with is it normal how i feel and all that. i dont know. i just im here venting b.c i dont tell anyone her in my real life. so maybe someone somewhere can help me. i just would love to know if this has happened to anyone. and what they have done.
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