I dont understand what is wrong with me. I have a good life, parents are still married, and all that, but i am always sad. and the fact that i am so blessed, yet still sad just makes me feel angry at myself becuase i know their are people out there suffering with alot bigger issues. and i just feel guilty for my saddess. But its a like i can feel it coming....it starts out of no where in the pit of my stomach and takes over my whole body. Next thing i know i am crying and having thoughts of suicide. I just feel alone and confused. And then tonight i was feeling sad and i just wanted my boyfriend to talk to me (on the phone) but he is horrible at holding conversations, especially over the phone, and he was just being quiet and i was getting so frustrated and he ended up getting mad at me and hanging up. And i jsut feel so alone and like he of all people should always be there for me. But then at the same time how can I expect him to understand how Im feeling, when I dont even really understand how im feeling. I just dont know what to do. My mother has severe depression and is on medication...so i don tknow if mayeb it is genetics or something, all i know is i feel like crap. But i dont want to go on medication, I would feel like...i dont know i jsut dont like the idea of me poppin pills everryday to make myself happy...
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