Since the age of 11 iv been self harming and since then iv spiralled into depression and anxiety and loneliness.... all through this iv maintained a front of happy confident and strong minded... people iv only just met say "i cant tell youve got your head screwed on" BUT im really not like that undernieth it im really in alot of emotional trauma and im deeply deeply numb and cold.... for the last couple of months i know my depression has got worse.. im teary eyed i dont sleep i just stare and as soon as someone knocks on my door i start having a party and having wacky conversations and i dont know whether i am really acting or whether my depression is festering so deep inside me im just a ticking time bomb...does anyone else live a double life like this ???
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