i feel like people just don't get me. i have friends... and we hang out. but no one ever initiates it; i have to go to them.. when i talk to them, it seems like all of their lives are just dandy and perfect compared to mine. i've had a bunch of crap go on in my life since like kindergarten, but i feel like by telling people all of that, they'll look at me different. i don't want to be the pity case, i just want people to understand. i'm bullied on a daily basis, and its been that way since middle school. i've always had different interests, and now, just because i don't go out every weekend and binge drink, i'm made fun of. i have an older sister that i feel like i'm living in her shadow. she's been through more than i have, and i feel like when my parents notice that something is wrong, it's nothing in comparison to what she's been through. it's like i'm the lucky golden child, but seriously, i deserve your love and attention just as much as she does.i've thought about killing myself, but to be honest, i feel like i'm too much of a coward to ever do it. i know that people go through a lot of shit everyday.. i mean come on, its high school. but i just want someone to understand: me and my problem.
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