I'm kind of embarassed to put this here, but I don't feel comfortable talking about it to the people in my life. My dad died when I was 10. Ever since then, I have been drawn to adult men. Not in a sexual way, just like in a wistful way. I'm closer with my grandpa then grandma, prefer men teachers, things like that. One teacher I have I always find myself wishing he was my dad. I tell him things that I know will make him proud of me and I always find myself just getting upset that I don't have him as a dad. I'm a senior, and I'm so afraid he's going to forget about me after I graduate and just weird things like that. I know he doesn't think about me that much though and it makes me really sad. Everytime I see him I just feel really depressed and I almost cry. I dream about him all the time. I think about him and his life and his daughter all the time. I know I sound perverted or like crazy, but I don't know why I keep thinking this stuff about like 40 year old men. How can I stop? Do I have serious problems?
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