I seem to be in a never ending cycle of depression. For a few months I'll be ok and really happy but then I always crash and have a breakdown, my mind just cannot take this, it's like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster and now I want it to stop. I've been like this for a long time and it seems like it's a part of me, and it's what I am. What I really want is a new life and a fresh start to get away from everything.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...