i don't know what to do. i have no one to depend on. i'm a stepping stone for everyone around me. i know that i am worthless and unwantable. i think there's a difference between people who feel that way and those who know thats what they are. i'm tired of constantly feeling like i do. feeling so alone. and no one has any idea that i feel like this. i pretend to be happy and no one even cares enough to ask. no one finds it shocking that i've never talked about any problems whatsoever. i can't talk to people about problems, not just because there's no one there to listen but because it's just not something i do. i don't know how to express how i feel. i would never kill myself (just to get that out there). i'm just having a hard time coming to terms with all these years of ignoring how i feel and realizing that i'm going to be alone. that no one is going to care enough to stick around. i think once i accept it i can at least stop feeling, but the last three years have just been a black pit that i don't know how to get out of.
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