Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

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/ Depression Supporters Support Group

Working and living with your depressed partner

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi all,
I am wondering, is anyone else in here in the same/similar crappy situation that i am in?

I am with my fiancee (Dated 6yrs) and living with her AND i also work with her.

Some may think that this is a sweet and great situation to be in to get to know your partner..blah...blah...blah.. etc...etc.. But the problem is that she is depressed with bipolar tendancies and it is turning out to be a bad week.

The part that gets me is that there is literally no escape for me at the moment... If she has an "Episode" the night before and it carries through to the next day...like it has today... I cant even get a moments worth of reprieve from the continuous verbal attacks!!!

It was so bad last night that i voluntarily slept on the sofa!!!! and as it can be imagined this morning was like the nights sleep never happened... Then on to the subway...and all the way to work... and now we have been in work for 3 hrs and 2hrs 45mins have been spent with her re-iterating how much she hates me, why she hates me and what I should have done....

I swear... at times i feel so Damnnnnn angry and feel like the end of my teather is close... too close..

If there is anyone out there with an ounce of experience in this situation I am so open armed to advice please send it my way as this is maddening!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish I had an answer. Mine becomes such an ass on the phone while I am at work then by the time I get home it's as if nothing happened. When he is in that mood then anything and everything he feels I have done wrong he berates me on to drag me to his level. He attacked me last night because I spoke with a few people from an organization that helps teens get off drugs. This turned into a horrid night and here I am at work today just numb and not knowing which way is up or down now. I couldn't imagine having to work side by side and not getting a chance to breath. I have to stop and ask myself why I continue sometimes!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
ffwife... Trust me... it is tough having that feeling of "Not knowing which way is up or down" and that is why i am having a bad day... I so wish that there was a degree of seporation between us... i am now finding myself almost making excuses just to escape to walk the dog or something like that to take 5 and re-align myself. It is just so hard
deleted_user
deleted_user
I put this on another post but it might fit with your situation....

My husband welcomed me back yesterday... the beast had been in control for many weeks....

when I am well enough I encourage my husband to go out with his friends and have some fun...to take time for himself...

we have made a routine I will share.. it might help for you.... every day after work he takes an hour to himself... he does not come straight home ( I had suck it up an accept he needs his own time)... he goes for a beer with his work buddies... or goes to see his friends and vents about his day or the stress I am causing him... It is 1 hour out of 24 that is just his.... I think it keeps him sane and gives him strength to deal with the stress I cause...

So I guess what I am saying is remember to take care of you too...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know I make excuses also to just go the other direction sometimes. He is on duty 24 hours so I get that relief for a bit but then if he has a bad shift then the hell doubles. What makes it worse is he does like to have a few drinks and he doesn't understand that it makes it worse. I sat last night after he yelled about something silly crochet a blanket up in the bedroom while he played a stupid game. It gave me the separation I needed for that time but I get so tired and worn out from the yo yo effect that I really wonder how I do it some days!!!
Chunkie I am sorry but an hour a night away from the stress isn't the answer. The hell we go through to hold our sanity and our temper even though our feelings are raked over the coals and beaten just because the "beast" is in control isn't right at all. Just because they don't feel good doesn't give them the right to find our buttons and degrade us to make us feel like hell also!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry... my intention was to help ... your right abuse of any kind is unacceptable...
I will take myelf out of this board... I obviously don't understand how it is to be in your shoes....I thought I might be able to help. now I think it may have been inappropriate.again I am truly sorry. I wish you only the best...
deleted_user
deleted_user
As we don't understand being in your shoes. It isn't a problem having you in this board but you have to understand being on our side is very painful and exhausting. We never know when or if the wall is going to hit and it makes you feel very alone. It is now effecting my health to the point I am on very strong migraine pills and I now have to go to the Neuro. I love him very much and I am by his side but getting treated the way we do is very wrong. You wouldn't want to be treated that way and not feeling good isn't a very good reason to degrade and disrespect anyone. If anything we should be the one person put in the bubble so we don't get hurt. We are the ones holding your hands and just crying inside and out that it stops soon!!
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