I suffer from depression and when I'm not working I try to do things interesting. Go for walks, start taking pictures of things and turn them to art. I used to make jewelery. Don't feel sorry for yourself, it sounds like your wife's problem not yours. Don't make it your problem. I know what it is like to be alone, everyone around, but no one to talk to or be friends with. I love my husband, but I am not friends with him. Depression makes all of this so much harder to handle. Minutes seem like hours and so on. You need to find your own way

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES. IN EACH OF THESE MARRIAGES MY WIFE EVENTUALY STARTED SLEEPING IN ANOTHER ROOM. OH HOW I MISSED THEM LYING IN BED WITH ME. SLEEPING ALONE IS TERRIBLE FOR SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION. YOU DON'T WANT THEM IN YOUR BED FOR INTIMATE REASONS BUT TO JUST KNOW THEY CARE AND YOU CAN SNUGGLE OR JUST PUT YOUR ARM AROUND THEM. IN TWO OF THE THREE MARRIAGES THEY DIVORCED ME SOON AFTER THEY STARTED SLEEPING IN ANOTHER ROOM. MY FIRST WIFE AND I HARDLY SAID ANYTHING BUT HI AND BUY. WE WOULD TRAVEL FOR HUNDREDS OF MILES AND NOT SAY ONE WORD. IN 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE THE MARRIAGE WAS CENTERED AROUND OUR TWO CHILDREN. WHEN THEY LEFT HOME WE LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND WE REALIZED WE DID NOT KNOW EACH OTHER ANYMORE. I AM 60 YEARS OLD AND I CRY. DEPRESSION IS DEPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS AND NOT LETTING THEM OUT. CRYING IS A WAY OF LETTING YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS OUT. I HAVE LIVED ALONE MANY YEARS. I WOULD GO TO WORK, COME HOME, GO TO BED, GET UP, AND GO TO WORK. I HATED WEEKENDS BECAUSE I KNEW I WOULD BE ALONE ALL WEEKEND. I STARTED TO GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAYS TO GET MYSELF OUT. THEN I JOINED THE SINGLES GROUP AND GO TO THEIR ACTVITIES. I FELT SO STUPID BUT I DID IT ANY WAY. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT TALKING TO SOMEONE EVEN ON THIS WEB WILL UP BECAUSE YOU CAN LET OUT THE FEARS AND EMOTIONS. ONE THOUGHT, YOU CANNOT MAKE PEOPLE DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO.

GOD BLESS.

THE MINISTER

Is your wife going through depression and that's why she wants to be by herself? Often times, people around depressed people get depressed as well.

I am going through similiar things as well. About a year ago, my husband out of the blue told me that he wasn't happy with anything and thought that we should get separated/divorced. He pushed me away, starting sleeping on the couch and just shut down. I wanted answers because I was in shock. He lied constantly, still does, has inappropriate boundaries, etc. He was diagnosed before with depression but always denied it and played it off like it was alright. I got him to go to therapy and he was diagnosed once again with depression and anxiety. Still doesn't admit to it, but he moved out in September.

It is hard to deal with someone that you love who has left and I found that it is worse when you're home alone thinking about everything. I have found that keeping busy is what gets me through the day. I have a two year old and she keeps me busy but I try and find things to do that I like doing. I like to go out for coffee, go to the bookstore, watch movies, meet up with friends. Talking to a therapist is also helpful as it will get you through what you need to get through in order to be well again.

Take one thing at a time so you don't overwhelm yourself. Everything else will fall into place. As Kluveling said, you need to find your own way. When you start finding your own way, you will feel better knowing what you've accomplished and how far you have come. It's ok to cry too-there's no shame in that no matter how old we are and if we're male or female. You are grieving the loss of your wife. It's to be expected to feel sad and alone. Try finding a group that share similiar interests with you such as church or meetup.com.

Good luck to you. Come on here for help and support. The people are great!

Every one cries !! Look for inspirations, even if they are small. Get a journal and find some interesting objects a broken leaf, smashed flower etc. I also recommend these this book it has pulled me out of my negative thinking quite a bit!!

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbninquiry.asp?ean=1572244739

Please never give up hope. I know that sounds easy to say but its true. I have seen many people give up and if they would have only hung on blessing would have come there way. Take it not by the day but by the hour or min. if necessary. Do you enjoy your job? If not try and find a job or go back to school if you can to find a way to fill up your life and then when you find your life filled with things you like to do you then draw good energy toward you. Who know maybe the real love of your life is just around the corner! Remember you have us here at DS to talk to. Also I think this will help you it did me. Please watch.

opps this did not come thru the first time so I will type again.
I think its so helpful

Having recently been through what you are going through now I fully understand. I was married for 26 years, I'm 55 and now single. I went through "great" depression for nearly a year. I fought it every day, but when I made a "reality check" on my situation it got easier. I had to except "he" was gone and not coming back. I still loved him and wanted him back for a long time. I even did the suicide thing and was put in a mental institution for a couple of weeks. Turned to drugs as an escape, that didn't do anything but get me in trouble. But at the time when I got high, I felt better. I suffer from chronic back pain and the drugs also helped me physically and mentally escape from my "real" problem "ME". By this I mean, "I" had to "regroup" my entire life, start all over again, alone and this scared the shit out of me. What was I going to do, alone without the man I had been with for 26 years. It was hard at first just going to bed, not having the person next to me. I started sleeping with my dogs. They would cuddle with me on the bed and sleep next to me all night. One still does. It was the warmth of something next to me I missed. Even though I was in a abusive relationship, Love does strange things. I still loved him and missed him. As time went by and I got over each obsticle that I had to deal with. (Finding a place to live with my dogs, money, people and the thought of someone else was out completely). It has been two years now since the separation and he divorced me last Feb. He and I both have moved on and we both have totally different lives now. This was/is an adjustment. It was hard to start all over again, but I have made it. Now that we are divorced I started seeing other people and I am currently living with a man that basicly took me in. I am not really happy with this relationship either but at the moment I am (stuck) here. It might work out but I just don't know. I have a roof over my head and food in my tummy, my dogs are here with me and have a back yard to play in. So, I am also still dealing with depression, and this is a part of it. It's NOT a easy road to travel after a separation. I hope these words are of some help. I have been there done that as they say. May God bless and guide you in the right direction.

This all takes time and I know you heard that before. Ajustment I too was married than divorced moved into a small apartment totally isolated.. I did not know what to do with myself. I started to go out just to get out of the place... that all was 8 years ago and now I relize it is all part of a process. You will come out stronger, I promise..

I AM REALLY SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR WIFE HAS LEFT YOU AND YOU ARE FEELING SO SAD AND LONELY. THERE REALLY ISN'T MUCH I CAN DO FOR YOU EXCEPT BE HERE TO LISTEN AND TO BE YOUR FRIEND. I HOPE THAT WILL HELP. HANG IN THERE!