
Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

deleted_user
Hi everyone...
It has now officially been 3 months since we last had sex....and god damnn i got an itch that needs scratchin... and ofcourse this is all my fault...LOL... and the last time i tried (My birthday in Nov) she tried adding conditions to us maving sex.... and by conditions i mean... change over the laundry, put the new rug on the floor, do the dishes and a bunch of other crap... and as you can immagine...not exactly a mood builder.. But i swear i have heard the word NO in so many tactical ways, abbreviations and down right subject changes that it literally aggravates me...
Its at times like this that i think about cheating on her.... trust me I am not that sort of person but even prior to the last time we did it 3 months ago, it must have been another 2-3months prior as the last time again....and this is just getting too much...
this sucks!!
Anyone else out there dealing with a cut off in bedroom activities? If so how on earth are you coping? or how are you getting things heated up again..
It has now officially been 3 months since we last had sex....and god damnn i got an itch that needs scratchin... and ofcourse this is all my fault...LOL... and the last time i tried (My birthday in Nov) she tried adding conditions to us maving sex.... and by conditions i mean... change over the laundry, put the new rug on the floor, do the dishes and a bunch of other crap... and as you can immagine...not exactly a mood builder.. But i swear i have heard the word NO in so many tactical ways, abbreviations and down right subject changes that it literally aggravates me...
Its at times like this that i think about cheating on her.... trust me I am not that sort of person but even prior to the last time we did it 3 months ago, it must have been another 2-3months prior as the last time again....and this is just getting too much...
this sucks!!
Anyone else out there dealing with a cut off in bedroom activities? If so how on earth are you coping? or how are you getting things heated up again..
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Also, when women are very stressed (in my experience as a woman) we can not go from stressed/depressed to horny with the click of a switch, which men seem to be more capable of.
Those points being said, it is never fair to use sex as a trade off for some other favor like putting carpet down. (At least not in such a literal transaction... you might be more likely to do something she asks if you were *getting some* but to actually barter over it is pretty extreme.
Are you in any type of therapy together? maybe that would help. This may be more about being exhausted, or her own sense of self esteem rather than something about you.
Good luck!
I have learned that when she is in a depressed state, her libido is all but gone. She also has given me the altumatiums in the past. She also would say, you did not help me do the laundry, so why should I do that for you. Those are the times that I would say I walked away and went back to watch television.
All I have learned is during those times of hell, she had literally no desire for sex and me asking her for it is my fault and I am a pig and sex addict. I did not know that having the desire to have sex a few times a week made me a sex freak. ;)
My wife has gone to wanting nothing at all to not getting enough at the flip of a switch, it is part of her illness (bipolar). Her addiction is sex and when she is in a manic stage, she wants it all the time and will give it all the time. Sure it is fun, but scary too. Why is she scary, well she is just not herself and she starts to have sexual fantasies that are not particually normal.
Now you are going to laugh at me, or maybe you will not- but I have found that her medication at night puts her in a deep sleep. When she is in this state, she is very receptive to touch and will hug me and bring me in closer for more. So when she is relaxed and her sub-concious is at work, she is able to enjoy the sex, but when she is her anxious self, forget it.