Hi All,

Well, it's been a while since I've posted because I have been concentrating on my husband and my marriage and work and it's been a very time-consuming and sometimes thankless task!

But I'm writing to report that we are making GREAT progress!

Let me briefly catch you up on what happened and where we are now...

My husband, who has suffered from depression since he was a kid, ran off a couple months ago and I thought he'd killed himself. That, along with other severely erratic, dangerous, and unusual behavior, prompted me to seek serious help for him. I agreed to stick with him if he would agree to work on his problems diligently.

Well, we finally discovered that his problem stems from being a child of an alcoholic, which created a very disruptive and unsafe childhood, which led to a dysfunctional adult life, sort of stuck in a fearful, victimized child mode.

We have been seeing two different therapists... a secular counselor who helps us with the day-to-day practical things (living together and not fighting, dealing with work, etc.), and a Christian counselor who has helped us focus on the most important aspect of this battle... our spiritual selves and what God desires from our lives.

In addition, my husband and I both go to ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholic) meetings and Al-anon meetings. ACOA is the perfect place for someone who used to live in any type of abusive household but is now living outside that home. I urge you to look up ACOA's website on the Internet and read about it... I was absolutely AMAZED at how perfectly my husband fit the description of an ACOA. Once we knew WHAT was wrong with him, we were able to develop a plan for recovery.

Well, it's been a couple months now and he is improving wonderfully. He takes his meds, we go to several meetings/appts. a week, and he keeps a journal (very important) and TALKS, TALKS, TALKS about his feelings... something he's NEVER done before (it was always, "nothing's wrong... I'm fine.). It's so important for someone in this condition to have someone to talk to at any time.. day or night. I urge all wives and husbands in this position to encourage their partners to talk about how they feel. It's difficult for them at first (they'll usually say something like, "I feel hot" or "I feel like having a soda." because they really don't understand what "feelings" are!), but with gentle prodding, they may start to open up.

Just this morning, my husband said to me, "Just for a split second, I felt this feeling of joy so strongly that it made me cry. I've never felt that before. It was weird. But it was good. I hope I feel it again!" BREAKTHROUGH! He now knows he's capable of feeling these things. Now it's just a matter of continuing to work on feeling it more often! He was confused because, he said, "I don't know what caused it." You see, people like him think EXTERNAL situations create joy and happiness. What they need to learn is that true joy and peace come from WITHIN, regardless of the external situation.

Anyway, this whole experience, tough as it is, in a way is like watching a child take his first steps or discover a butterfly for the first time. It's awesome watching my husband become the man I know he can be! And I PRAISE GOD that I didn't take my friends' advice and leave him when things got tough. And I thank God also for giving me the strength to persevere and to be blessed so greatly for keeping my vows and helping my husband through this.

I hope my words bring comfort and hope to some of you out there who may be going through some of the same problems.

Peace and blessings to you!