All, I joined the "write away the pain" support group and it inspired me to do something. I've begun to start writing letters to J- without knowing if he will ever see them. It's a way for me to say all the things to him that I can't say right now (because he is so fragile in his depression). It's been really theraputic for me. I tell him what I want for him, for us. I tell him when he's pissed me off, what I wish he was doing in therapy, all the reasons I love him, etc. It really does help. Normally, we'd have these sorts of discussions with each other daily- but since his meltdown, I'm on the eggshells with him. Maybe he will read them all when he starts to "recover" or maybe I'll never show him. Either way, it's like I'm getting the opportunity to say all the things that it would be inappropriate to say to a depressed spouse. You might try it (but hide them well:-)
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