Hi Pepper (hope that's okay),

I've spent the last 3-4 months watching my wife spiral downhill without even knowing what was going on until 2 months ago. Just like you, I'm also telling her daily that I'm here and love her very much. Even though I was doing that and constantly asking how I could help, I was feeling as though I wasn't helping at all.

Last week, we celebrated our 5th anniversary. In one of the cards she gave me, she said that she was amazed at how much my love and support had helped her.

It may not seem like it, but I'm willing to say that letting her know you're there and that you love her is doing more than you may think. Until last week, I didn't have a clue how much I was helping by just saying it.

I'm letting you know, I'm on both sides of this. The one I love is bi polar and was suicidal, and I had depression. When he shows he loves me and is there for me, it lifts me up a ton because it's somewhere to go. I know I'm not alone, and I have support. I may not use that support as much as I should, and I may not show improvement right away, but I'm less iratable, and my mood does shift. And when I show him I'm there for him, I feel so helpless that I can't help him anymore than that. But he does get better, and he says he's better knowing I'm there for him, and I'm just a phone away if he chooses to come to me. It may not show all the time, and it may not be a complete turn around, but it's something and I'm sure it does help her when you tell you that you love her and are there for her. It helps fight the negative thoughts and feelings. Take care, and don't give up. My prayers are with you both.

Thank you guys for your replies....She did tell me that our lines of communication are wide open now. Which made me feel good. I too suffer from depression, but have always just lived with it, never been on meds for it. So in a way this whole situation is definately challenging my downfalls. I've been trying to stay so strong, but last night had a breakdown. We talked and cleared a lot of things up. Last friday I woke up to the police at my house. She had cut her wrist and then called the suicide hotline. She told me that she didn't want to die... it was sort of a cry for help. Needless to say... they put her in a place for 72 hours. It was good that she went too....the doctors had her on a lot of meds that were not helping or backfiring. So they have gotten all that in order. She seems to be doing much better now. It's just really challenging to see the one you love in that much pain.

i understand i have depression anxiety and ocd and i went off my meds. about a year later i got quite bad felt lost unloved would always cry lost weight and i couldn't shake it. i finally went back in and got back on zoloft it works for me i feel good now but i have days were i get over whelmed with life. i work i also have a bi-polar daughter who is 13 and consumes me with her behavior and appointments. we have her on lamictal it has helped with the moods but she also was diagnosed adhd and odd. its been alot of years of living in hell but i feel were on the right path. sometimes there isn't alot we can do they also have to work to get better also. i feel your pain and god knows its hard.