Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
My Mum has major depression and anxiety. She went missing 7 months ago and two months after that was admitted to hospital where she stayed for about 2 months. Since then she has had a couple of good weeks but generally she is in a terrible state. I have feared for a while that she hasn't been talking her medication & on Sunday night after I begged her to get more help she admitted that she hasn't.
She offers no explanation as to why other than she thought she was better, and yet I am not convinced that she will start taking it again even after I tried to explain that she will get worse again if she carries on without it.
How can I get her to start taking it again? Why doesn't she understand the relationship between taking the medication and getting better? When she took it she was almost herself again. I feel like I can't get through to her. I don't know what to do.
She offers no explanation as to why other than she thought she was better, and yet I am not convinced that she will start taking it again even after I tried to explain that she will get worse again if she carries on without it.
How can I get her to start taking it again? Why doesn't she understand the relationship between taking the medication and getting better? When she took it she was almost herself again. I feel like I can't get through to her. I don't know what to do.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
It's not that your mother doesn't love you enough to get help; it's that she doesn't love herself enough. That's hard to hear...I know, because I heard it just weeks ago from someone else. Your mom needs to come to a realization on her own that will lead to her seeking out help; sadly, there is no telling when this will happen, or what the consequences leading up to it may be.
Perhaps she needs to lose something important, like your support, in order to make her understand that she needs help. If she comes to you and you are unavailable to her, she may realize that her actions and inactions have hurt you, and that may lead her down the path to seeking help.
Remember, you are her daughter and she is your mother, not the other way around. My own mom has suffered from depression and anxiety her whole life; I used to coddle her, and rush to her side, but now I know that I must tell her I love her, and will always love her, but that I must let her help herself. Our relationship has improved markedly since I've put my own feelings first, and she accepts and respects the boundaries I put in place. It was certainly one of the hardest things I've done (standing up to her), but she knows that I love her and just want to see her well.
Your mom will come around, but there is nothing more you can do for her than love her, except maybe distance yourself from the situation. When she sees that her decision not to continue treatment is causing her to lose her relationship with her daughter, she will likely have a cold realization that she needs to take action.
Stay strong; I've found that when dealing with someone that won't accept help, sometimes the hardest thing to do is nothing at all.
-Nicole