This one is kind of scattered in thought. It started as I was taking a shower this morning and continued while at work. I wrote in 2 line stanzas as they came to mind.
The alarm clock rings a new day has tolled
what pain and suffering will today hold?
Will I think of the one who hurt me inside?
I pray up to God, "make the pain subside"
You brought us together like some magical spell
cast us apart and threw me in hell.
I ask you daily for this pain to end
For I have more love than I should for a friend.
We work on paper and in words we are great
But when we met those feelings showed up late
So late in fact they never were there
I was so convinced we were an eternal pair.
I can't let her go I found my true love
another gift taken by the one from above.
You tease and taunt me we with residual dreams
all the while not listening to my screams.
Damn you, damn you, and damn you again
Just let me once say and mean "AMEN".
Is this my punishment for turning away?
The relentless misery, pain, and dismay.
I'm at my end, no options left
don't want to continue this life so bereft.
I surrender to your will so lead me to glory
It's not my hands but yours if this scene turns gory.
I'm tired of fighting but I must continue
no other choice but to have faith in you.
I was told you would take away all my pain
it's right here, take it, and with no refrain.
I give you what little is left of my soul
I'd sell what is left to have my Nicole.
The time has come to put me on my path
it's true when you stray you will feel His wrath.
I'm asking for help and fallen to my knees
Why have I not heard a response to my pleas?
I want so much to finally be at peace
The pain in my heart I need a release.
Love is a gift but for me it's a curse
She isn't the one and not much is worse.
I know there is hope and I shouldn't whine
I need to be patient and give it some time.
I can't see the future, only the now
I can't see the when, or really the how.
I'd die for milady and die I have done
The price I have paid and nothing was won.
At the end of my day I'll go back to my home
Sit in my chair, and as always...feel alone.