Not knowing, not feeling, wondering if there will ever be a place for me that is not shadow, or darkness, or nightmare. I sit in the fragile state of a self-destructive healer, wanting to grow and change, but often falling pray to her own morbid curiosity. I am forlorn in my willingness to transform, hoping that somewhere down the road solace lies in wait for the woman who owns the script for sin. I wish I could forget, make a place for myself, that doesn't hold trama, pain and abuse. I yearn to grow wings and fly above the lonliness, the incomprehensable sadness of being broken.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...