Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
Some of my husband's family members refuse to accept his diagnosis and current condition and instead have gone so far as to give him a scooter(behind my back and against my expressed denial of him having it). They have encourage him in the idea that doing this was right and keeping it all secret is also acceptable, even preferred behavior. They know I am his Legal Guardian, yet will rebute the information on his condition with comments like: "He's lived here all his life. He's not going to get lost."
They don't call or stop over. Most of them never visited or sent a card when he was hospitalized for a month (when he was diagnosed).
He wants to get his driver's license back(we didn't renew when he was just out of the hospital and the Dr.s said he couldn't. We are arranging the testing he must pass to get it back(I'm sure he won't get it but the Dr.s won't just say he can't). Testing will tell definitely.
Two of the relatives in particular are adamant that I am out to deprive him of something I have(scooter). They refuse to believe he needs an operator's license to run the scooter they want him to have(large, street compatible). I have checked my facts and told them; they still don't believe me.
If he doesn't pass the testing there won't be a car or scooter.
I can't have them undermining his cooperation with me--key to him being able to be cared for at home. Does anyone see any other way to deal with these relatives besides restraining orders or calling the police on them if they try to take him away without clearing it with me? I was cautioned by a social worker that I might want to think twice about calling the police, because of the disturbance it would cause in the family and with my husband.
I do not plan on going to the wall researching every issue that comes up because they don't agree with my decisions. I am working with the professionals treating him, and that should be enough.
Any tips on dealing with this situation would be appreciated. I don't want to threaten, but I am prepared to seek legal intervention if it will keep him safe.
They don't call or stop over. Most of them never visited or sent a card when he was hospitalized for a month (when he was diagnosed).
He wants to get his driver's license back(we didn't renew when he was just out of the hospital and the Dr.s said he couldn't. We are arranging the testing he must pass to get it back(I'm sure he won't get it but the Dr.s won't just say he can't). Testing will tell definitely.
Two of the relatives in particular are adamant that I am out to deprive him of something I have(scooter). They refuse to believe he needs an operator's license to run the scooter they want him to have(large, street compatible). I have checked my facts and told them; they still don't believe me.
If he doesn't pass the testing there won't be a car or scooter.
I can't have them undermining his cooperation with me--key to him being able to be cared for at home. Does anyone see any other way to deal with these relatives besides restraining orders or calling the police on them if they try to take him away without clearing it with me? I was cautioned by a social worker that I might want to think twice about calling the police, because of the disturbance it would cause in the family and with my husband.
I do not plan on going to the wall researching every issue that comes up because they don't agree with my decisions. I am working with the professionals treating him, and that should be enough.
Any tips on dealing with this situation would be appreciated. I don't want to threaten, but I am prepared to seek legal intervention if it will keep him safe.
deleted_user
I had to tussle with my older brother over whether my mother could still drive. The last time she drove, her foot "slipped" and she bent the handicapped sign over. I knew it was time to end her driving career. Sometimes it's just us caretakers who see the deficiencies that the rest of the family refuse to acknowledge. Since you do have legal guardianship, you should have no problem getting rid of the scooter. Offer it back to the presenter and if refused.......sell it and put the profits into your charge's account. You need to sit them down and let them know that YOU are in control now and it will come down to legal measures if necessary. I don't think I'll have legal problems with my siblings, but I'm not about to fuss with their feelings when I have one of the hardest jobs in the world to do. Think of it that way. You are the person in charge.
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